Often I sit around San Antonio and ask myself why did I leave Denver. After this short weekend’s trip up there I finally understood though. And I understood it in the most positive way.

My two days at Titwrench were phenomenal to say the least. I was terribly ill the entire time (thanks endometriosis!) but it felt like the most important experience to have. Here was this festival set up by this amazing woman who is the ultimate organizer. And the wonderful thing is that she’s a fan like anyone else who just wanted to see more. And so she did something about it! Then of course, there were all the amazing women who played and were apart of the festival. I was seriously in awe, and sometimes even intimidated, by these female artists. It was almost as though I couldn’t even wrap my head around it. Before I always understood female empowerment but maybe seeing it in this specific form made it more real than ever before. That sounds dumb because it’s not like I don’t have strong women in my life. And all these marches with UniteHere, I see more women than I do men. And of course there are heroes like Angela Davis and et cetera that you hear about so often. But being a witness to it at this festival with such diversity in music and so much effort being put in to make it happen felt like the best example of how things are changing in the feminist community. It makes the movement so multifaceted and you don’t get to see that often. It’s always the same old arguments. But here was a chance to do something. The festival was about action more than talk and I loved that.

Can I also say I found out about a lot of awesome bands that really blew my mind! My favorites that came out of it were Tine who just brought the funk. Sin Desires Marie who apparently played their last show. BUMMER! It was the same drummer for both of those bands and she was definitely one of the biggest reasons I liked either of them. Married in Berdichev was an unexpected enjoyment. And I rarely go to shows where you can just sit or lay on the floor while listening to live music. Her performance was both intense and serenely beautiful. Christina the Hun, in contrast, was both hilarious and simply interesting for using just her voice and drums. I couldn’t understand how she did it but she did! Here’s a link to her performance a year ago. I only got to attend the first two days so to be able to round up my short stint there with Tulip Wars was the best. They were incredibly fun! When I got back to San Antonio, my immediate reaction was to look up all these bands and find a way to make them apart of my playlist. I’m so thankful for all the new music I experienced. Denver, wow, y’all really have something special up there.

And that brings me back to why I left. Honestly, I was really lazy in Denver and when I go back, I realize all the things I should have done. But I also find Denver to be a really odd place where I don’t want to do anything but watch its craziness unfold. I find the city to be haunting. Haunted by the living. Denver is in the smack dab middle of nowhere and despite it’s growth and despite it actually being a real city, it’s almost a ghost town. The absolute perfect place to have an awesome counterculture. You have booming California on one side of them and, I don’t know, maybe Chicago on the other side and they’re not being influenced by any of that. At least not in some major way. And for whatever reason, that scared me. Granted there are a ton of other reasons Denver is scary, but I felt both lost and confined in such a city. It was both a blessing and a curse. It was almost a compounded feeling to already being a young person so far from home. I was saying, thanks Denver, for making me feel that way even more with your oddness. Could I have felt that way if I moved or went to school in Austin, NYC, Chicago, Atlanta? Maybe. But Denver is definitely bizarro world and I was both ready for it and not. I’m extremely grateful for such an experience but I’m happy to not live there anymore. I’m happy to experience that city on a lesser level now.

I hope I can continually go places and be apart of events like this. I hope I can temporarily stay in a lot of cities and understand their scenes and culture a little better. I always speak of these “extended vacations” because I’d honestly want to go somewhere and spend 3-6 months so that I could see it more for what it is. I would have never heard of this festival had I not done this nor would I have met an amazing person (Sara Century!). I got more than the tourist perspective. I want to meet all these amazing people doing amazing things for their community. People being proud of where they come from while also criticizing it and making steps to change it. Being able to watch a city change while being an outsider but also being apart of it. That’s what I got to do in Denver a few years back and I would love to continue to do that in other places across the country. It makes me love San Antonio more. And I have to say, humanity doesn’t look so bad either when you put yourself out there to new things.

Thank you Denver. You’re an amazing place. Thanks Titwrench. Keep growing, keep going. Keep inspiring.

titwrench:

TINE (CO/AZ) performing Thursday, July 28 at TITWRENCH III!

This performance was definitely one of my favorites. Totally had me groovin’ with all their funk! I want to write more and ,of course, share pictures of my experience. But my flight was long so let’s count on Monday that I reveal all!

First trip planned so far. Off to Denver for Titwrench for three days. Got a good deal on flights too. So excited to go back to my 2nd home!

New York City so far in the distance though. I’ll try to make it work.