And just like that

I’ve signed up for the printmaking class at Southwest School of Art. Yay! Gonna learn something new this summer and hopefully it’ll help me out in other endeavors (zine-makin’ and whatnot). Going back to school was a good choice no matter the price of that class.

Doing some crocheting tonight with Gabby, work tomorrow, fun home projects ahead. The good life.

Please Report to Career Services

I think I like days off on weekdays more than I do weekends. Everyone’s sitting in an office, hard at work today and the city feels like it’s mine. There’s very little people in the bookstores or at the malls. It’s perfect. However, I have been wasting this day away. I haven’t been outside yet but I do have the doors open and the windows up.
I’ve been inside online job searching which I’m starting to hate. I’ve been at it about two weeks now because that’s when I put in my two weeks at work. Except I’ve gotten to tack on an extra week or so because of Fiesta. I might agree to stay on for just a couple of days a week and not do this supervisor job anymore. It’s been too much pressure especially from someone who won’t really let you be in charge. It really sucks when you can’t be trusted to do your job so I’m ready to move on. I’m working pretty hard to find a job in the non-profit sector and maybe work more on my photography, art and zine stuff on the side.

I’ve also been thinking about places and environments that I’d really like to work in. As much as I enjoy art, photography, and writing, I don’t see myself in those kinds of fields full-time. I think there is something special about keeping a day job especially if it’s a place where you like the people, you like the place, and you like the product. Bookstores are, of course, number one on my list. Yummy and chillaxed bakeries and cafes are pretty up there on the list. Museums too. Right now, I think I’m most focused on getting a job at Greenling, which is an organic food delivery company. It supports local farmers and I think that’s always great. It started out in Austin but the company is down here in San Antonio too and I think I would love to help in so many ways and call that my job. It must be amazing to work in a place where you get paid to do something that helps the community. After awhile, I bet you start to not even think about the money. I’ve been volunteering at so many places for such a long time that I think I’m ready to have that evolve into something I can do for a living.

As much as I am job hunting, I’ve also been looking into having more freedom. I’d love to go on the road for two months straight. My Volvo would make an excellent cross-country car. And I have yet to go abroad so that would be pretty cool. I’ve been thinking about moving away from San Antonio come Autumn but I can never decide on where to go. Do I want to be in a big city (NYC baby!) or would I like a smaller atmosphere (Albuquerque, the lovely desert!)? I also just recently heard about WWOOF which allows you to volunteer on farms while having your living accommodations taken care of. I think this is a running theme with me and maybe I should just focus on food and farms and fun. Knowing where your food is grown and digging your hands in the dirt has lately been really interesting to me. I think it’s time I delve more into that lifestyle.

Really, I have this feeling of not knowing where I’m going. So as much as there are many paths to take and a whole bunch of good ideas to expound upon, I don’t want to be too hasty in picking up something just because it sounded like a good idea at the time. But I also can’t be afraid to just dive into something thinking that the worst will surely come. Of course bad times will come! But I have to be willing to ride it out. Sometimes, I wish I would have stayed in Denver. I might be a different person because of it today. Sometimes I wish I would have continued working at Central Market. Then I would have had an important job at a place that’s about fresh food and unique things. Sometimes sometimes. All I know is that I get scared about what is to come if I stay in things for a long time so I quit. Well, I’m tired of quitting. If I pick up something new it has to be because of the transition from the old, not because I’m worried or afraid.
I have also realized that I’m not really good at anything. And that’s OK. You’re probably thinking, WHHAAA? But I like writing, I like taking pictures, I like doodling, I like cooking but I’m not the best. It’s not a lack of confidence thing, I’m just aware of where I stand now. So it’s really in my interest to support those who are good at those things. I think that’s why I’ve always liked volunteering. Someone with a big idea said, THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO. And I said, “That’s cool. How can I help?” Honestly, if I were a millionaire, I’d spend beaucoup amount of time listening to people with good ideas so I can throw cash at it if I like it. But since I’m without money, I’m happy to throw my time and effort at projects. Someone who’s out there that can do a better job at creating art, at fixing up the community, at starting a revolution needs people like me who just want to support it. I think that’s why I think I’m the ultimate music fan because if a couple of guys or gals can get on stage every night for a living, I want to help them achieve that. So yes, I will be buying merch and I will be putting band stickers up in the neighborhood. It means a lot to me when people are doing great things. I don’t have to be doing that, I just have to be about that. Just call me Barnabas, I’m here for encouragement.

So that’s where I stand on my career life. I felt that if I wrote it all down, I would know what I’d like to do for a living. You sit in those job interviews and sometimes you’re nervous about what to say. But if you know what you want out of life, it’s easy to tell the truth to those questions they always ask. Tell me a little bit about yourself. What are your strengths? What are you weaknesses? I feel like I have better answers to all of those questions and more.